His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
