it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
