is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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