can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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