In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
