she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
