So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
