Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
