dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
