omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
