Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
