So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
