i permit you to call me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
