my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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