I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize