Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
