I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
