Michael Bay diarrhea
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
