god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
