i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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