So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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