I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
