But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
