Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
