I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i now understand why vodka
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
