seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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