Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
