i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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