none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
