how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
