okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
