She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
