I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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