He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
