its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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