..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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