ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
