You're my little dorito
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
