I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
