Swine flu. Run for my life!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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