Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw