sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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