why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.