i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.