HIV tests are more positive than that guy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
