Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
