Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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