fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
