I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
