Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
