So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
