Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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