You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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