McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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