i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
