do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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