I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm always down for nudity.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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