You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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