my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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