I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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