i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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