you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
