The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
50% drunk capacity currently
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
