I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
