whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
tell me about the fingering
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
