Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
