look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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