All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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