Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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