I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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