after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
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Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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